Source: Report on the Manuscripts of Lord Middleton, Preserved
at Wollaton Hall, Nottinghamshire. Published for H. M. Stationery
Off., printed by the Hereford times limited, 1911. Transcribed by
Carrie Gross.
“First for the country,
I must confesse it is too good for those that inhabit it, and too bad for
others to be at the charge of conqueringe it. The ayre might be wholesome
but for the stinkeinge people that lyve in it, and the ground might be
made fruitfull had they witt to manure it. Theire beastes generallye
are smale (women only excepted), of which sorte there are noe greater in
the world. There is greate stoare of fowell, as foule houses, fowle
lynnen, fowle dishes and pottes, fowle tranchers and napkins, fowle sheetes
and shirtes, with which sorte of fowle wee had liked to fare as the children
of Israell did with their fowle in the wilderness. They have greate
store of fish too and good for those that can eat it rawe, but if it come
once into theire hands, it is presently three days oulde. For theire
butter and cheese, I’le not meddle with it att this tyme, nor noe man at
anye tyme that loves his lyfe. They have likewsise greate store of
deere, but they are so farre from the places where I have yet beene as
I had rather believe it then goe to disprove it: I confesse all the
deere I mett with was deere lodgeinge, deare horsemeate, deare tobacco
and English beere. As for fruite, for their grandma Eve’s sake they
never planted anye. And for ther trees, had Christ beene betrayed
in this countrey, as doubtless he should have beene had he come as a straunger
amongest them, Judas had sooner founde the grace of repentaunce then a
tree to hang him selfe on. They have many hills wherein they tell
men there is much treasure, but they shew none of it. Nature hath
only discovered unto them some mynes of coales to shew to what end shee
created them. I see little grasse but in theire pottage, and noe
flowers but such as modestye forbids me name. The thistle was not
given them for noughte, for it is the fairest flower in theire garland.
The word ‘hay’ is heathen Greeke to them, neither man nor beast knows what
it means. Corne is reasonable plentifull at this tyme, for since
they harde of the king’s comeinge, it hath been as unlawfull for the comon
people to eate wheate as it was of old for anye but the priestes to eate
of the shoebreade. They prayed much for his comeinge, and long fasted
for his welfare. All his followers were welcome but the guarde; those
they say looke lyke Pharaoh’s leane kyne and threatten a dearth where ere
they come. They would perswade the footemen that oaten cakes will
make them long-winded, and the children of the Chappell they have brought
to eate of them for the maintenaunce of theire voices. They say our
cookes are too sawcye, and for groomes and coachmen, they should wish them
to give theire horses noe worse then they should be contented to eate themselves.
They comende the brave mindes of the pentioners and gentlemen of the chamber,
who choose rather to goe to taverns then to be always eateinge of the kinges
provision. They likewise comende the yeomen and the pages of the
buttrye and seller for theire retirednes and silence, in that they will
heare twentye knock before they answere one. They perswade the trumpeters
that fasteinge is good for men of theire quallitye, for emptiness, say
they, causeth winde, and winde makes a trumpet sounde sweetelye.
The bringinge of heralds they say was a needeles charge, for they all know
his pedigree well enogh, and the herbingers might have beene spared, since
the[y] brought so many bedes alonge with them and of twoe evils, since
the lesser is to be chosen, they wishe the bedes may remaine with them
and the poore herbingers keepe their places and doe their office as they
returne. His hangeinges they likewise desire should remaine theire
as reliques allwaies to putt them in minde of His Majestie, and they promis
to dispence with the woven ymages therein, but for the graven images in
his new beautified chappell, they threaten to pull them downe soone after
his departure and make of them a burnt offeringe to appease the indignation
they imagin is conceived againste them in the brest of the Allmighty for
sufferinge such idolatrie to enter their kingdome. The organs, I
thinke, will find mercye, because, as they saie, there is some affinity
betwixte them and the baggepipes. The skipper that brought the singinge
men with their papisticall vestments complaines that hee hath beene much
troubled with a strange singinge in his head ever since they came aboarde
his shippe, for remedie whereof the pastor of the parishe hath perswaded
him to sell the forfaned vessel and distribute the money amongst the faithfull
brethren.
For His Majesties
entertainement I must confesse ingeniously hee was received into the parishe
of Edenborrowe, for a cittie I cannot call it, with greate shoutes of joye
but noe shewes of charge, for pageants they hould them idolatrous thinges
and not fitt to be used in so reformed a place. From the Castle they
gave him some peeces of ordinance, which surely hee gave the Castle since
hee was kinge of Englande, and att the entrance of the towne the[y] presented
him with a goulden bason, which was carried before him on men’s shoulders
to his place, the place, I thinke, indeede from whence it came. They
protested that yf Christ had come from heaven, Hee could [not] have beene
more welcome: I beleeve it, for His Majestie came but to sommon them
to a Parliament, and Christ would hove summoned them to judgment, which
they love not to heare of. He was conveyed by the yonkers of the
towne (which were some C. holbdeeres, deerely shall they rue it, in respect
of the charges) to the Crosse, and soe to the High Church, where the onely
bell they had stood on tiptoe to behoulde his faire face; where I must
intreate you to spare him for an houre, since I confesse there I left him.
In the meane time
to report the speeches of the people concerninge his never sampled intertainement,
were to make this discourse too tedious unto you, as the sermon seemed
to those that [were] constrained to indure it. After the preachment,
hee was conducted by the same holbdeeres unto his palace, of the which
I forbeare to speake, because it is a place sanctified by his divine Majestie,
onely I wishe it had been Wallinge Wells2
for my frendes sakes that waited on him.
To bringe the Major
backe to his lodginge, who all this while accompanied His Majestie, were
to much to amplifye my storye, because the gentleman lodges three stories
high.
I will onelye briefly
and faithfully speake of the people, according to their degrees and qualityes.
For the Lordes Spirituall
they may well be called soe, for indeede they are neither fishe nor fleshe,
but what it shall please their earthly God the Kinge to make them.
Obedience they houlde better thenn sacrifice, and therefore they make a
mockerye at martyrdome, sayinge that Christ was to dye for them and not
they for Him. They will rather subscribe then surrender, and rather
dispence with smalle thinges then trouble themselves with greate disputations.
They will rather acknowledge the kinge to be there head then want wherewith
to pamper their bodies. They have taken greate paines and travaile
to compasse their bishoprickes and they will not lose [them] for a trifle.
For the poore deacons
whose desertes will not lift them up to dignities, all their study is to
disgrace them that have gott the least degree before them, and because
they cannot wryte bishop, the[y] proclaime they never read of any.
The scripture, say they, speakes of deacons and ellders, but not a worde
of deans or bishops; their discourse is full of detraction, their sermons
nothinge but realinge, and theire conclusions either heresie or treason;
for that religion they have I confesse it is above my reache, and, God
willinge, I will never stretche for it. They christen without the
crosse, marrye without a ringe, receive the sacrament without reverence,
dye without repentance, and bury without divine service. They keepe
no holydaies nor acknowledge any Sainct but Sainct Andrew, who they said
gott that honor by presentinge Christ with an oaten cake after His 40tie
daies fast. They saie likewise he that translated our English bible
was the sonne of some maulster, because hee speakes of a miracle done with
barley loaves, whereas they sweare they were oaten cakes, and no other
bread of that quantity could have satisfied so many thowsand people.
They use no praier att all, for they saie it is needeles, God knows their
wantes without their pratlinge, and what hee does, hee loves to doe freely.
Their Sabboth daies exercise is preachinge in the morninge, and persecutinge
their backbiters after dynner. They goe to church in the forenoone
to heare the lawe and to the cragges and mountains [in the] afternoon to
louse them. They hould their nose yf you talke of b[earbaiting],
and they stoppe their eares yf you speake of a plea[y]. Fornicacion
they hould but a pastime, wherein man’s abilitye is aproved and the act[iv]itye
or fertilitye of women discovered. Adultery they [shake their heads
at]. Theft they reale att, murder they wincke at and blasphemy they
laugh att. [They think it impossible to lose the way to Heaven if
they can but leave Rome behind them.]”
1This scathing description of the Scotch was printed under the title of “A perfect Description of the People and Country of Scotland. London, printed for J.S. 1659,” 12 mo., 21 pp. it is reprinted in the “Secret History of the Court of James the First,” Edinburgh, 1811, ii. 75, and in Nicholls “Progresses of King James I.” iii. 338. (From information supplied by Professor Firth.) See also “Calendar of State Papers, Domestic,” 1623-5 … The present text is in many cases superior to that already printed, and has the merit of being derived from a contemporary MS., which seems to have been addressed to some Nottinghamshire gentleman, judging from the reference to Wallingwells … which puzzled the printers of the 1659 text. The letter is ascribed to Sir Anthony Welldon, author of the “Court and Character of King James,” and is said to have been written during the king’s visit to Scotland in 1617. “The piece having been found wrapped up in one of the records of the Board of Green Cloth, was traced to Sir Anthony Welldon, and led to his dismissal from Court” (Secret History, ii. 75). The passages in brackets are supplied from the printed text.
2 The printed text reads “better walls,” but the reference is to Wallingwells, in the manor of Carlton-in-Lindrick, co. Notts. In 1612 the possessions of Wallingwells priory were held by Humphrey Pype, but Sir Gervase Clifton, who held the manor of Carlton, had also possessions in Wallingwells. See Thoroton, Notts, 466b, 467.